I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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