i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
