2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
