She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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