how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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