brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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