...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
