think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
