My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
