The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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