Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
