i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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