i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
