She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
