my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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