I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
