im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
