so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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