I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
