How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
