we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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