I look better un-naked...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
