it was like his penis was on wheels.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
