i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
