who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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