I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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