Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
