My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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