I'd wear matching sweaters with you
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
