Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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