I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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