Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
there is glitter all over my balls
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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