I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I believe in your delicious
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
