I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
