I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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