i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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