i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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