I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
