porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
