You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
