I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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