I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Floor bacon is actually really good
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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