that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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