so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sarcasm needs its own font
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Semen is not good for contacts.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
