Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
