So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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