marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
