i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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