Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wish you could order shots online.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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