One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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